Leaders' Playground

6: How to Dump, Delegate, Date, Do, Re-Define your To Do List

• Irene Salter, PhD • Season 1 • Episode 6

Share episode

Follow me through my day as I declutter my to-do list. In an era where adults on average make 35,000 decisions in a single day (it's true!), this episode peels back the curtain on a process you can use to not just manage your overwhelm, but fix it.  Learn about the actual capacity of your working memory and the impact of cognitive load.

We've all felt the weight of an overflowing inbox and the endless stream of tasks vying for our attention.  Me too. With an overwhelming to do list of my own, it's time to use the 5Ds, my personal strategy for task prioritization,  delegation, and completion.  This episode is "a day in the life" of Irene capturing the thirty minutes where I sat down to get a grip on my overwhelm. I use three tools that you too can use: 1) staying true to my purpose, 2) managing my energy with a break after each bout of deep thinking, and 3) using the 5Ds to dump, delegate, date, do or re-define each and every item on my list.

Resources:


For complete show notes, transcript, and free downloadable resources go to: https://www.irenesalter.com/podcast

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Leaders Playground. Towards the end of the last episode on overwhelm, I was talking to my best friend and business partner, tutti. She said it seems to me you don't really want to fix your overwhelm. You are managing just fine. All right, fine, then let's fix it. Let's just not manage. I want you to join me today in this episode as I dump delegate date, do and redefine all the things on my plate and try to actually fix my current state of overwhelm instead of just managing it. Bonus I'll be sharing all of the science and strategies along the way so that you, too, can apply it into your own life. Here we go. Hi, thank you for listening to the Leader's Playground, the podcast for leaders who wish their work could feel more like play. Leadership can be lonely, overwhelming and just plain crazy making. We are here to rekindle your spark.

Speaker 1:

I'm Irene Salter, your host, and a PhD neuroscientist and science educator with a passion for helping people thrive, not just survive. Please click that follow button so you don't miss a single episode. Let's talk about decision making. By some estimates, on average, an adult will make 35,000 decisions in a single day. Let's sit with that for a minute. 35,000? Really yes, and today is a big day. I have some big decisions to make and you, my lucky podcast listeners, get to make them with me. I'm actually going to take you through my day. I'll be recording this podcast as I go about my day.

Speaker 1:

My goal is to fix my overwhelm and not just manage it. It's going to require some serious structural changes to my work in order to make that happen. I have three different strategies that I know are going to help me. First, I'm going to need to lean into my leadership identity, as defined by purpose, vision, passion, values and strengths. That's the North Star that's going to guide me, and if you want some more info on that, go and check out episode three on crafting a leadership identity. I'll walk you through all of those pieces.

Speaker 1:

That's number one. Two, there's this thing called decision fatigue. Now remember, in the last episode I talked about resource demand imbalance. Those are the times when the demands of a situation are way bigger than the resources available. You just don't have enough to go around. A very clear example of this is muscle fatigue. After hard exercise, the resources your muscles need to continue functioning at peak levels are depleted Things like oxygen, glucose and your body's ability to get rid of all of those harmful byproducts of movement, like lactic acid. Something very similar is happening in the brain when we ask it to make 35,000 decisions in one day, especially when those decisions require a bunch of self-regulation. The upshot of all this is that the more decisions you make in a day, the worse those decisions are. Psychologists sometimes call this ego depletion.

Speaker 1:

I actually like the term decision fatigue. It's been studied in many different kinds of situations. Some of my favorite studies include them looking at quarterbacks who have been playing in football for some time. When you ask coaches to take a look at the plays that the quarterbacks are choosing to make in the fourth quarter versus the first quarter, coaches not knowing whether those were early game or late game decisions, when they take a look at it, they recognize that quarterbacks are making worse plays in the fourth quarter. Same thing with judges sitting on their court bench. Judges will make worse decisions towards the end of the day versus at the beginning of it. Now, in both of those situations, we find out that performance improves after a break. So immediately after halftime or a timeout, quarterbacks start making better decisions. Immediately after a judge's lunch or coffee break, judges will make objectively better decisions.

Speaker 1:

So today, if I'm going to have to avoid the worst impacts of decision fatigue still making lots of decisions I'm going to need to use breaks strategically through the day. If you want a little hint, check out episode four on dance. There's a great movement break that I lead you through in that one. Four on dance there's a great movement break that I lead you through in that one. That's two. Number three the final thing I'm going to be needing is a tool that I teach to my clients on how to change overwhelm for good, the way that you do. It is called the five D's, and those D's stand for dump, delegate, date, do and redefine. That is this week's strategy.

Speaker 1:

So take a pause. In order to 5D your to-do list, ask yourself a series of four questions. First, what if I didn't? If I didn't do this to-do item? What would happen? What horrible consequences would ensue? If the answer is nothing much, dump it. It didn't need to be on your to-do list in the first place. The worst way to exhaust your resources is to spend your time and energy on the things that never needed to be done in the first place. So dump. Second one does it have to be me? Really, really, really think about this one, because we often will take on and take control over the things in our lives that don't actually have to be us.

Speaker 1:

Often, in my own head, that comes out in the way of if I don't do it, it won't get done, right, yeah, sound familiar. The key here is to delegate away the things that you don't actually need to own. First of all, you're already holding too much, so the quality of what you're going to try to do is already low. Secondly, if you claim everything, then the people in your life won't be able to be empowered to learn how to do it themselves and won't gain that independence and the control that they need to be able to do those things well, the next question does it have to be now? A lot of times there's this urgency just get it done and get it over with. But really the more strategic thing to do is to do it at the time where it makes the most sense. And hey, procrastinators, this is for you. If you have something that you have to do and you're procrastinating on it, you know that it's due at 5 pm on Friday. You think that it's going to take you four hours. One of the things that's so motivating is I've got a time pressure, I've got a deadline, I've got a due date, so put a date on it. If it's going to be done on Friday and it's only going to take me a few hours, do it on Friday, but schedule it and hold yourself to it. Treat that meeting with yourself as if you were meeting with the president.

Speaker 1:

The last question does it raise or lower my energy? Well, raising energy makes it feel like play. The questions to ask are does it feel like play? Do I get into a state of flow? Does it activate my strengths and passions? Do I lose track of time and self because I'm so absorbed in the doing of it that I forget that it's even dinner time? Do I just love it? If so, do it. It's going to activate your energy. You're going to get more energy out of it and it'll lighten your load for everything else because you'll have more energy in your battery pack.

Speaker 1:

Alternatively, is it lowering my energy, and what that means is whether it's draining and exhausting. Are you terrible at it? Do you find yourself procrastinating and avoiding? Does time seem to drag on and on, and on and on? Do you get self-conscious and are full of self-doubt about it. Do you hate it? If so, then the key is to do something called redefine. I will be dumping, delegating, dating and redefining and doing a whole bunch of stuff today. Let's see how it goes.

Speaker 1:

I've designed a flow chart for the 5Ds that you can use. Several of my clients have it printed out and hung on their office wall. You're going to find all of those things in the show notes, along with a few other resources. Okay, back to the show. So let's remind ourselves Three things I'm going to need today Lean into my own leadership identity, take breaks to avoid decision fatigue. And three, use the five Ds. And three, use the five Ds.

Speaker 1:

Question one in the five Ds is what if I didn't? So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to post-it note all the things that I have to do. I'm going to lay them out on my desk and if you listened to the last episode, last time I laid them out as 30 to 45 minute, very specific, actionable steps. No, no, no, no, this time I'm big categorying it. I'm going for, like, the big blocks of stuff that I've got to do, and for each of them, what if I didn't?

Speaker 1:

So interesting, first of all, I sat down and I got out a bunch of post-it notes of a couple different colors, one of which I just wrote down the biggest tasks there are about 12 of them things like my one-on-one clients, writing my book, writing my blog, admin and communication, so all of those little crufty, little backend things. So I wrote down all of those big things. Several of those big things needed to be broken down into major projects and components of them. So I have a bunch of other post-it notes 12 of those altogether, in a couple of categories. Like for my book, I had four different things that I had to break down, write my book into, in order to kind of keep them contained because they were decidedly different kinds of projects.

Speaker 1:

All right, now that I have 24 different post-it notes covering my desk a little bit overwhelming. That was enough decision making for the moment. I'm going to step away and come back to it in a moment. All right, all right. Stepping away was so helpful. It really allowed me to come back with a little bit more clarity, because I still can't let go of it, but I can prioritize.

Speaker 1:

So what I did was all right, of all of these post-it notes, which is the ones that I absolutely cannot give up. I picked five. There were five of them that are my top, top, top priorities, ones that I just cannot let go of, the ones that are so important and meaningful and I'm passionate about them, and also they pay the bills, so those ones are my top five. Then I had another tier of five that were portions of the things that I really find important, that are key cornerstones of my business, things like marketing, my blog, my own self growth that if I were not doing them, I would not be doing things to the quality and commitment that I want them to be. But I don't have to do all the pieces.

Speaker 1:

So, altogether below that, I have 15 different items that are down below. Some of them are the big ones and some of them are the little purple ones, but all of those are not key, core bits of what I need to do. Those are the ones that what if I didn't? Not much would happen if I didn't do them, and so, to be really, really honest, I don't have to be doing those, I don't need to be investing my time and energy and certainly I don't need to be overwhelming myself with them. I'm going to take those and put them on what I call my someday maybe list. Now, that's a list that allows me to put them aside without feeling so guilty about actually throwing them away. It would be impossible for me to crimple those up and throw them in the trash as if they never existed Some of them. There are a couple last things that I have to do in order to feel in integrity, like I can't just drop them where they stand, but once I get those cleared off, I can put them in the parking lot and let them sit and let them be in storage just for a little while, so that I don't have to worry about them and they won't overwhelm me. Already I'm honestly feeling better.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that is step one. Next up is does it have to be me? This is the part where I delegate. Enough thinking for now, I really do need another break, because all of this thinking, I'm kind of staring at it and I don't even know how to begin on, how to delegate, so I'm going to step away. I'm going to come back to it after I have a moment. So I did. I walked away, I made myself some tea, I had my lunch and I still wasn't quite ready to face it, so I started some banana bread, go figure, okay. But when I came back I was able to take a look at my post-it notes and have a lot more clarity.

Speaker 1:

The decision fatigue and being able to take care of that with food and sustenance and beverage, and a little bit of a brain break of you know, just spending 10 minutes in the kitchen doing something that was totally unrelated really, really helped. And so now I have five different areas. So, of those 10 big things up at the very, very tippy top, I put stars on five of them and I named the people that could help me with major aspects of that work. For those ones I don't have to do it alone, and it sometimes doesn't even have to be me at all. I just have to take the steps to delegate them. So that means that, hey, tessa, my dear wonderful office manager, she is going to help me with several of these pieces. I'm going to be doing some of the things for my retreat with my partner Tuti. I don't have to do those alone, and I even saw with my book that one of the major things that's a bit of a hurdle for me is the copy editing. That's one piece that I could consider. Hiring a copy editor. I have no idea how much that is, but I did get a recommendation for a really, really great one from someone I totally trust. So what I'm going to do is reach out and just find out how much that would be, because that would also take a big thing off of my plate if I could delegate that away. I'm sure that if I took another little stab at it I could go even deeper and find a few more things, especially if I broke all of these big things down into smaller actionable items. But for now it's already feeling pretty good.

Speaker 1:

So then comes the next question Does it have to be now? When I think about that, I think again. I am going to need a slight break. I'm going to walk away and take care of some other business. I've got some phone calls to make and other things. I'll take care of those and then I'll come back to does it have to be now after that?

Speaker 1:

Here's the thing about does it have to be now? There's a bunch of different parts to this question. So the first part is what things can wait. Well, of my 10 top post-it notes, three of them don't have to be now. They can wait. So I actually folded those post-it notes in half, so I don't even look at them, and on the bottom side I have written down what month or week I will pick them back up again. So that's helpful, because then I don't even have to see them. Of the remaining seven, several of them don't have to be now. They can be scheduled, built into my calendar. There are ways for me to get them done, but actually like today, today no, and partly that's what the last episode was about, about looking at what steps to take in this moment are the most important and picking three. So, in terms of, like, the part of what has to be now actually has to be now. If I had to pick three, which would they be? That was actually a really good filter for me to consider, and all of the rest are things that I need to build into my schedule and actually take a look at Now.

Speaker 1:

Last week, tessa and I actually did this to my calendar, as in I told her with the podcast. These are the things that are going to need to occur on a monthly regular schedule. Help me figure out a way to build that in Same thing with my writing and my blogs and things like that on a monthly regular schedule. Help me figure out a way to build that in Same thing with my writing and my blogs and things like that. How can I build those practices in so that they fit more cleanly and clearly? And if I do that, what other spaciousness do I find in my calendar? How can I ensure that all of those things will have the room that they need to breathe? And also what Jason reminds me of constantly Jason being my husband, by the way he always is constantly reminding me that I need to build in extenuating circumstances, emergency situation, things like catch up time, time where it's like squishy in my calendar so that I can catch up on the things that need to be done. So that, too, needs to be built into my calendar. That makes me feel blah, because I know that there's not going to quite be enough room, which means more things need to be cut or redone or redesigned.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to look for efficiencies. Are there any other efficiencies I can gain? All right, I think I'm seeing something. I'm seeing synergies. I'm seeing ways that two different tasks can be combined into a single thing, and if I can do that, there might be some possibilities to not just be more productive but also to find more energy and excitement about the projects. For instance, when I look at two things like my blog and my book, I think that there's going to be really beautiful ways that I can have the book writing actually become blog posts. And similarly, when I'm looking at recruitment for my new leadership circle and thinking about those blog posts or thinking about the ways that they might synergize with other podcasts or marketing opportunities, of course I could find ways to build those together so that they aren't separate entities but a single one that has many different touch points and multiple different outcomes that can come from the same activity. If I just think a little more clearly about it, that I think is going to be super helpful and it's going to allow for that time blocking to have multiple purposes that I really like. I'm going to go back to my calendar and do a little bit more calendaring, all right, so I've gone into my calendar and I've played around with things. I actually kind of like where it's sitting.

Speaker 1:

Now I want to actually step back a little and teach you a little bit more of the science, because the way that our brains work when we try to do multiple things in a day and how we try to block our time is really, really important. A lot of times I find that my day is broken up into what I call time confetti, meaning that there's all these tiny little shreds of time and I spend 10 minutes on this and 15 minutes on that and I jump around and bounce back and forth between all sorts of different things, or sometimes I try to multitask and do multiple things at once. The thing is that our brains just can't do it. When we talk about working memory working memory, yes, you can hold something in your head, but on the overall executive planning level, one thing at a time. Brains are good at holding multiple pieces of information if they all contribute to the same overarching goal.

Speaker 1:

The more that you can clear your calendar so that you can focus on one cognitive task at a time. That is super helpful. What that means, for instance, is you don't want to be checking your email throughout the day in tiny little snatches, instead carving out a single block or three shorter blocks of like 20 to 30 minutes. That that allows you to get deeper into the task and do better at it than if you try to do the same amount of work, say, an hour's worth of email spread throughout the day in one minute chunks. It's something that has been demonstrated in multiple different ways. That shows when you can hold all things into a certain chunk and you can chunk the information, you improve on your performance. It can sometimes take up to twice as long. Actually, the research suggests about 40% of someone's productive time can be literally discarded because of all of this task switching, meaning that if you're trying to multitask or you're trying to do many different things and switch between them, you lose 40% of your day.

Speaker 1:

Ugh, can you imagine? So, as I was going through my calendar, I was looking for ways to block my administrative tasks, my emails, my podcasting time, so that they were clearly in chunks. That would make sense for given what I want to do. All right, I think that's good enough in terms of putting dates on things. Now it's the last one. How does it impact your energy? Does it make it go up or does it make it go down? So, the things that go up, I'm just going to get ahead and do them, especially those three that I find really, really important. But let's say, one of those three doesn't really rock my boat and it's pretty lame or something that kind of drains my energy instead. What do I do about that? Well, how do you make something redefined so that you can increase the amount of energy you get from it? 2d and I have been working on exactly that, and what we're going to do is I'm actually going to take you into a call where 2D and I are exploring how might we make marketing fun Don't worry about the content, but look at the things that Tudy and I do and say to increase the amount of play and engagement and energy. How can we redefine this task that normally feels kind of like a drag and something that we procrastinated on? How can we make it something that feels engaging and fun and more lively?

Speaker 1:

I love, at the retreat, our kayaking day. I like um, I like the sense of how adventure, in one way of working like kayaking also is translated to like creativity with like the paintings and stuff, the art stuff. I love the interweaving of place and space and inner growth and inner wisdom, like the way that we use the hike to inspire vision, how we use the waves to think about waves in our own work, how people pick up the little bits and like use that as representation of their strengths. The other thing I like. That's really fun, and I'm using this less for like impact on the people and more for impact on me, for what's fun is is actually really fun to be spontaneous and shift based on the ankle issues. So we couldn't find the original place. I actually thought it was super fun to be in the moment and switch and find something better.

Speaker 1:

You'll notice that 2d and I kept talking about all the things that we loved most about the retreat and we kept going and going for almost 10 minutes straight with all the things that made us light up. Then we turned to what might make marketing fun. It started with the most fun things we'd done in the past to share and build excitement around the retreat. But now, looking back on the conversation, I can see very clearly how that very first brainstorming session about what we loved most about the retreat spurred ideas for redefining marketing in a new way. Take a look at this.

Speaker 1:

I was thinking about the way that we use place in the retreat, and didn't we say something about doing like an all walk together, leading something like that as a potential workshop or lead up? That would be fun. Yep, that would be really fun, because it would be both together and it would be like place-based. And it would be like place-based Are there other things along those lines that's place-based? We could do. So, you'll notice, we brainstormed all sorts of ideas about in-person, place-based workshops that might feel more like a mini retreat than typical workshops on Zoom Zoom and that helped us create ideas about could we take something on Zoom with everyone in their own homes and have them use their own home setting and workplaces to do something different? Those ideas built up further into yet another way to redefine marketing.

Speaker 1:

Listen to this. That could work. That'd be different and interesting. It'd be playing with time differently. I love that idea of playing with time differently. I mean, part of what makes the retreat so fun is the slowing of time, but also the intensity of being together for four days. Like, can we play with time more? We could do a series of time release marketing emails. We could do a series of text prompts. That is kind of like the back and forth, like. I know there's systems where, like you almost do, like a text-based quiz. So that's how Tootie and I changed the energy around marketing.

Speaker 1:

Now, before, if I had to rate how I felt about marketing on a scale from one to 10, with one being energetically the worst thing ever and 10 being utterly passionate and the most exciting thing ever. Marketing might be a four, but this conversation redefined things and shifted the dial to maybe a six or even a seven. It got me over the hump and partly that's because Tootie and I were in partnership Work is always more playful when you do it together but it's also the intentionality of looking for places where I felt that playful, energizing, delightful energy before, like at the retreat itself, and actively trying to build on that foundation in the things that I wasn't as excited about, like marketing. So there you have it. That's the five Ds. That was my day. I really do think that this is going to be far more sustainable for me in the long run. And a final note about that long run me in the long run. And a final note about that long run For people like me with a strong drive to achieve and to please, the five Ds is a constant work in progress.

Speaker 1:

It's not just one undone. My school leadership mentor, paul Crefell, once said that culture is like a sandcastle. In this case, he was talking about the culture of the school, the behavior of the kids, the way that we held up values like respect and love and care for one another. Well, sandcastles if you've ever built one on the beach naturally will get eroded over time by the sand and the wind and the sun and the waves. Those sandcastles are fragile things. As beautiful as they may be when they're first built, those castles need care and love. The entropy of all the little things we say yes to and all the shiny objects we just can't pass up will gradually, over time, weather the castles we build. So it is a constant process of rebuilding, of reshaping, of making the foundation stronger, of building walls, of using the 5Ds on a regular basis, just like you have to go into the shop and maintain your car and get an oil change. So here is to building sandcastles together with you.

Speaker 1:

Thanks again for joining me here at the Leaders Playground where we got to build sandcastles. Isn't that great. My goal is to offer stories, science and strategies that can make work feel more and more like play each and every day. Is it working for you? This is episode six and I'd love to get your feedback. Please tell me how I can make this podcast even better for you using the contact form on my website. Go to irenesaltercom and leave me a message. I'd love to know what you want. I'd also love to thank Tyler Lockamy, my sound producer and sound designer.

Speaker 1:

I'd love to thank Robin Canfield for the gorgeous website that all of this is being landed on, and Tessa Borquez for being my chief operations officer and really making this entire enterprise fly. In the show notes, you'll find a link to that 5Ds flow chart that I mentioned, as well as several other articles and videos that can help you fix your overwhelm. Finally, would you mind doing me two favors? Do you know a leader or a friend who's overwhelmed and looking for solutions? If so, share this show with them. They might find something here that will help them break through. And secondly, please click that follow button on Spotify, google, apple or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't want you to miss the next episode, where we compare the hero's journey to a heroine's journey, as it applies to leadership. There's many ways that we can take this adventure, so join me next time here at the Leaders Playground.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Irene Salter, PhD

Host